One of the most entertaining parts about leading a life group full of high school girls is learning what all the new cool slang words…cool is not a cool slang word anymore…here are some examples:

  1. “RT” as in retweet from twitter is used as a synonym for ditto or me too
  2. “YASSSS” is like your very best and most excited “yes”
  3. “ooooo kill em’” is typically used to tell your friend that whatever they are doing, they are doing awesomely or you think they look really hot or you think they are super funny, etc
  4. “Baecation” in case you all have missed out on the term (bae-like your boyfriend/girlfriend, etc) and I know…how original…you add bae and vacation and you get baecation.
  5. And finally, and the subject of this post…”thirsty” which in the nicest terms possible means too eager to get something and the not so nice definition is well….you know, the not so nice words for “eager” girls

I dropped the no dating for year a few weeks ago in this post and I know everyone has been dying to know so I’m going to attempt to explain in this post.

A wise man…aka Andy Stanley…once said “you are the common denominator in your failed relationships.” But whoever believes that? We are a society of blame-shifters, and I am just as guilty as the next, so I always attributed my relationship problems to the other person. Even the ones that tended to pop up in different relationships. And full disclosure…the main one is…..attention. I love attention. I love to be the needed and valued girlfriend….and who doesn’t love to feel needed and valued (just as a disclaimer, I think your partner should definitely make you feel needed and valued) But, my problem is that I wasn’t finding enough of that in one person. I hung on to old relationships until new relationships developed, or I stayed “friends” with ex-boyfriends while in new relationships. At the heart of this common, so so so common situation in my life, was a heart that found her identity in how much someone else needed her. In the back of my mind, I just kept thinking once I found myself with someone I could see a real future with, he would fulfill all my desires for attention. But then I did meet someone I could see a future with and SHOCK OF ALL SHOCKERS, I did not change.

See, I discovered I am “thirsty” too, maybe not the super eager or desperate kind of thirsty, but the thirsty like in John 4 when Jesus meets the Samaritan woman at the well.

Small background into this story: Jesus and his disciples were traveling through Samaria and Jesus stopped by a well in the middle of the day. At the well he saw a woman there trying to get water from the well. This is the Middle East, folks. It is hot in the middle of the day and most women went to get water in the morning or in the evening when it was a smidge cooler. But not this woman. She came at a time smack in the middle of that hot Arab day and that’s probably because she didn’t want anyone to see her. There’s speculation about why she didn’t want anyone to see her…maybe she ran out of dry shampoo the day before, or she was breaking out, or she just ate three hot dogs at Keeneland and was feeling super bloated, but more than likely she was an “immoral” woman.

So here’s this “immoral” woman (and aren’t we all immoral women to one extent or the other, but for another day) and Jesus. And the exchange they have in John 4 is one of the most beautiful passages of scripture. Jesus tells her, “13 Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

I was thirsty.   I was using these relationships as a way to quench my thirst. But I never felt satisfied. No amount of sweet text messages, romantic dates, planned weekend excursions (because if you know me, you know the way to my heart is making weekend plans on a Monday. Holla), etc., was going to quench my thirst when I really needed living water.

So fast forward a few months, a few more failed relationships, a lot of being reallllly thirsty, and here we are IN December 2014. I had listened to Andy Stanley’s sermon about taking a year off of dating at least three times and finally on my fourth go-a-round, it clicked (because apparently third times a charm is not the case in my world). I saw my thirst for what it really was…not me being unable to find the “right person” but me trying to find my value and identity in things that were never intended to hold my value or identity. So here I am…six, beautiful and hard, months into turning from my previous wells and seeking my identity in Jesus.

Another disclaimer, I don’t think everyone needs to take a year off of dating. But as my friend Claire has told me before… I tend to operate better under extremes, ha!, I really felt like this was/is the best way for me to focus on Jesus, no distractions, and hopefully change the dating patterns I have created for myself. I’ll be posting more on the topic as I continue, including a post honoring David Letterman “Top Ten Reasons To Take a Year off of Dating”

Because every post about marriage should include a girl in a wedding dress
Because every post about marriage should include a girl in a wedding dress