Alright, confession…Mean Girls is probably one of my favorite movies, ever. You know how every male can quote from Billy Madison or Dumb and Dumber…well my friends and I can quote from Mean Girls. If you’ve never seen Mean Girls…who are you?!? Seriously! Just kidding (kind of), the premise is an exaggerated portrayal of high school female social cliques. The movie not only provides some of my favorite one-liners… “Oh my God, Danny DeVito! I love your work!” and everyone’s favorite “If you’re from Africa, why are you white?”
If you’re a woman, I’m sure at point in your middle school or high school career you experienced a mean girl and along the way some older and wiser adult told you “middle school and high school girls can just be brutal” And trust me, I was both the mean girl and victim of mean girls in school and middle school and high school are brutal…but it doesn’t really stop there because you know what…I’m still a mean girl. Yep, I said it. I am a mean girl.
But Amanda, you always seem so nice to me
True, I was/am probably nice to you. I used to think of myself as a generally nice person. I’m not really confrontational. I sometimes have a hard time telling people when they’ve upset me or hurt my feelings. I try to be the peacemaker, but I mean in a different way. Truth is…I’m the under the radar mean girl. I judge you. If you’re skinnier than me, wear cuter clothes than me, have longer hair than me (seriously, women with really long hair…I have hair envy), drive a nicer car than me, AND if you’ve ever had anything to do with a guy I’ve dated…I’ve judged you. I’ve looked for your flaws. I’ve probably focused in on that small insignificant thing I’ve deemed is “wrong” with you and told it to a friend, or made fun of you, or even just thought myself better than you because of it.
Because it makes me feel better about myself. Because I’m envious of something you have or that I think you have and if I create a flaw in you or put you down, I feel better about myself. And you know what I realized, its not a flaw in you…it’s a flaw in me.
I swear, my biggest red button for the devil to push is contentment. At the heart of my mean girl issue is my discontent with some area of my own life, so I am an envious of yours. As women, it’s probably something we all struggle with to some degree or another. Lately, I’ve realized that I had been focusing on finding or making up flaws in others, instead of fighting to find contentment where only true contentment can be found
11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV).
Mean Girl Boot Camp
So what’s a repentant mean girl to do? Well first, I’m going to start looking up instead of outward. Focus on what I have instead of what I don’t have, and quit living in the should have, could have, would haves. And for the next week, every time I want focus on another woman’s flaws…I’m going to think of one positive thing about her and pray that God will renew my mind to think like He thinks and view others like He views others.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2 (NIV).
annnnnd just to make up for anything mean I’ve ever thought. My super embarrassing 7th grade school picture…frizzy hair (I decided to go to the local Great Clips for a perm), braces, and overall awkward looks